I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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