just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
