why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
