i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
