Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
