I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
