I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
