so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
