if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
