we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I look better un-naked...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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