just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
