i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i would punch a child for taco bell
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
