I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
