morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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