I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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