R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
