I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You made out with two different species that night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
