So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
