Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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