Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
