HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
