Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.