You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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