So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
