how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I smell stomach acid.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
