Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize