I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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