So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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