She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
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I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize