All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
