did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
