I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
