Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
