Please, let me fuck your mom
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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