3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
