I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
