I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers