weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major