I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize