i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
