# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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