If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
