I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
