Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Randomize
