You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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