I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
