haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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