Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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