it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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