dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
