Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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