angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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