I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
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There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
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I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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