Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
