I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
home. puking in laundry basket.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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