i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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