Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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