There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
