I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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