Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize