That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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