id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
