holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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